I remember Stake Conference when I was single, not yet a mother and really just doing my own thing. I'm so glad for friends who at the same time were so dedicated to the gospel as I wanted to be. They would bring note books, so I would too. They would come early get close seats and be ready for the session and then I would as well. I wanted to be ready for the message and I am so thankful I had friends who had the same ideas. We have grown in the gospel together and now can see where that foundation is taking us.
Back then I remember I couldn't wait til the day came when I could attend with my husband by my side. It has really seemed a different path was what Heavenly Father had in store as husband by my side is generally not the case. John is rock solid. Often teased and called 'John the beloved' because of his goodness. But, his career in these early days has meant I really need to rely on the foundation I gained when I was single and hold onto it like its everything.
It is hard going more then a week at a time looking after a toddler and baby on your own with no break. It has been this way since asher was born (and before). I know there are families in the military or other industry who don't have daddy home for several months. That is tragically hard. What I've discovered is those type jobs usually have such a stint and then its eventually back to normal. Aviation is like this year after year decade after decade. Only now have I put Asher in a kindy class 2 days because of how sick I get when pregnant and I thought i'm done! This has been hard. Harder than single life. Thank goodness I had the experiences I had before this time in my life came round.
I'm not tooting my own horn, ( whining more like it ) I just wanted to reflect on the many Stake Conferences I've attended and remember what it did for me. Some of my most powerful memories of feeling the Spirit have been at Stake Conference. I look around and see individuals and families trying to live the gospel, trying to be strong and it fires me up - gets me going and keeps my legs moving forward. I remember not that long ago a husband and wife sharing a speaking assignment at conference in which they said 'after 20 years, all our child rearing and hard work has paid off' (among other things they spoke about). They went on to say that their 5 or 6 kids - I can't remember - all are obedient and good content happy individuals. Talk about fruits of your labours. Obviously this has been 20 years of dedication in all areas of the gospel which as we know includes hard, tiring, enduring WORK... This couples' point was that they're not perfect but they are enjoying life because they stayed true to what they've been taught and now see what it has all meant.
Some Sundays, after a horrible morning (we have afternoon church this year) I sit in the chapel and tears well in my eyes while no one can see because Asher is behaving so badly,Jet is crying and can't be calmed down. I sit there and think what's the point. Why am I even here...
THEN - I think
How about those foundation years when I was single and what they mean to me now. Clearly these years right this second are some more foundation building. Clearly in 20 years when my children can say 'I know the church is true' this is all going to be worth it and I can then see the fruits of my labour. I have been forced to rely on myself and my testimony, not John's, in order for me to live the gospel and teach our children. What an excellent thing that is for me to go through.
THANK GOODNESS for Stake Conference!
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