How far we've come

I can't believe that I've almost been doing weekly pre school with Asher now for three months! That is amazing and I can see a difference in how we all feel, there's a point to our day and we get to spend good times together. Just this week I have been able to see the fruit of my labours. Asher recited the alphabet and also memorised the first article of faith. He has only begun big primary this year and already knows it, that makes me very happy and I can see he can focus and learn. These little achievements mean a lot. When I think I'm failing in most areas(house tidy, gourmet meals, behaviour etc.) I realise that I'm not actually doing all that bad, in fact I'm doing well. I love this job of being a mother and Asher has made me realise that.

When he said the article of faith I kissed and hugged him so much and was over the moon happy that he just wanted to keep saying it over and over. That just again shows me how much he wants to please and wants to be approved. It was a really good insight to my attitude toward him.

Another success this week has been implementing "the puppy award". Asher loves pretending to be a puppy, so when I found a reward certificate online called the puppy award I thought this just might work. All this week he has been doing his jobs around the house and it has been a great result for him to see me ticking off the chart. He just wants to keep getting more ticks and get that award. I have been so thrilled with seeing that he CAN do all this, that is, listen to an instruction and follow through with simple responsibilities. Each day our routine is: toy room free play, breakfast, get dressed brush teeth then Sesame Street before heading to the gym and out and about for the day. Evening is Play School at 4:30 dinner at 5:15 then before bath both boys put away all toys and straighten up toy room and rest of the house. Now these kids are 3.5 and 18 months old and they do it! This is teaching them more then just obeying me, but to care for the things we have and helping mummy shows you love her.

After bath, bed time routine is pretty easy I'm happy to say. I am always exhausted but I'm glad everything is in place and there's not usually a drama. 6pm we get out of the bath and into pjs and we head into ashers room for story time. I will read one book then just have a rest in there with them while the boys read book after book after book. This is a nice way to end the day for me and them. By ten to seven its goodnight. They brush teeth and Asher uses the bathroom and I leave his door open while he drifts off to sleep. He DOES NOT get out of his room which is lovely, he just likes to hear that I am still close by. I can do the dishes then watch a bit of TV and he just stays there quietly.  This works because he knows if he made a sound or did get up I would just close the door which he hates...he only tried this once and never has since.

The reason I'm going on about these good points of my kids is that often I never really reflect on them, just the hard stuff - tantrums, hyper active behaviour and how tired I am all the time. I'm glad I've found the goodness amongst the other.

I love my boys, I love that we are about to enjoy another baby and that we are a happy family. Isn't that just what everyone is looking for, to be happy.

On a final note, this week I've had discouraging input from family who don't think that me putting mothering before a career is what I should be doing. It's sad to say that I get this a lot from my family, close family too. There really is a lack of understanding on what I do all day and why I do it. Comments such as, you're not exercising your brain enough, come when they think all I do is baby talk and play with my children....I think I get negative talk from my family every week or whenever we catch up. It is hard to hear that and not let it play on your mind.

But then I refocus and consider the reasoning behind suc comments. Maybe they want what I have, maybe they wish they had of had the family that I have chosen to have, or maybe they just think they know better. It is seriously difficult when every decision is judged, from how I discipline to how tidy I keep the house. ENOUGH!  I will strive not to harp on it but to keep being an example and these little ones are going to be the best thing to prove it was all worth it.